it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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