It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
