If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
