Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Too much gin, very little bucket
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
