That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
