the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
