Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
