Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
