Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
