Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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