The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
