I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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