Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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