Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
