Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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