I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
