I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
