I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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