some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
