Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
A+ Viking dick
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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