dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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