how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
