I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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