is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
