so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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