and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
