Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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