No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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