are you still at the devil's house?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
