You just made me feel so damn special
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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