Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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