thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
