Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
