I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
