Capitaan dildo arrescate!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
