update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
