I wannas sexs uuuuu
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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