Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
