i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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