got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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