I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
