Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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