and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize