he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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