Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
