yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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