So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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