just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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