About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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