yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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