I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
