Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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