how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
