Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
