we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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