Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
