I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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