Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
