whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
