I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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