I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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