I just pynch a tree in the face
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
