i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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