The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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